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Monday, October 3, 2011

Making a Jenna

Ok, so here's the story of my pregnancy and delivery of Jenna, our first daughter.  In case you didn't read my first post, Jenna was born 9 months, 2 weeks after Matt came home from Iraq from his 2nd tour.  We were living in GA on post where everyone else was getting pregnant as well.  Not really that uncommon for a military post.  We did, however, beat most of them to the punch.  I was told my due date was Oct. 30.  Then it was moved to Nov 16th....what?!?!?  How does that happen?  Anyhow, I was then given a date of Nov 11th and, being that it was Veterans Day (how appropriate), I stuck with that one. So, I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy, which was wonderful since I was so far from "home" and Matt was gone for a few weeks at a time here and there.  Matt had me walking everyday and he swears that's why everything went the way it went....I just go with it. Ok, so fast forward to Nov. 10th.  I talked to my mother that morning (as I did EVERY morning) and she asked how I was feeling.  I told her "I am going to have this baby this weekend."  She and Matt were questioning how I could possibly know that but I just had a feeling.  Matt had a four day weekend (what else is new in the Army) for Veteran's Day so we were running errands and such on that day.  Came home around lunch and started to feel a bit "off'".  I drank a tall glass of water and laid on my side to rest.  After 3 large glasses of water and an hour of rest, I called the hospital and the nurse told me to drink water and lay down.  She then asked when my due date was and I told her "tomorrow." She rudely stated "just because it's your due date, doesn't mean you will have the baby then."  Umm, ok, whatever.  Figured she would know better , but come on....don't be a bitch about it.  So, after dinner we were watching TV and I just decided to time my "contractions."  Don't you know, 5 mins apart.  I go to lay down in bed to get some rest but the contractions were just not stopping.  By 11pm I ask Matt to take me to the hospital.  The woman, Ruth, said "you are NOT in labor...you just need to go home and get some sleep and drink water" (more DAMN water). She tells me I am not even 1cm dilated which was funny since that week at my doctor appointment I was 2 cm. Gives me some tylenol and tells me to go home and sleep.  Yeah right, sleep while your child is trying to rip itself from your uterus....sure, no problem.  We get home around 1am and Matt and Ellie (our dog) fall fast asleep while I continue to labor anywhere I could get comfortable.  Finally, Matt hears my screams and comes running.  I had been trying to call Labor & Delivery for the last hour and the line was constantly busy (hind sight, I was probably dialing wrong, considering I was in full labor) so I threw the phone at Matt and made him call.  He gets through on the first try (of course) and the rude woman says, "well, if you are in THAT much pain, come back in." Get up to walk to the car and, BAM, my water breaks...take that bitch!  Not in labor, my ass!  Side note....you should have seen Matt's face when my water broke.  It was as if he didn't believe it was time till he saw that happen.  He was in shock and awe.  He asked if I wanted to shower or eat something....what?!?!?  In his defense, the nurse who taught our child birth class told us that when our water breaks we should not rush to the hospital...we can take our time, get washed up and eat something since you don't know when you will be able to eat again.  Well, if you know me you know I am anything but "by the book."  So we get in the car and we had a 2 min drive to the hospital but it felt like 20 mins.  We get to the hospital and the nice security guard gives me a wheelchair to get to L&D.  Matt pushes me around the corner into L&D and I see that bitch, Ruth with her jaw on the floor and I scream "Ruth, I'm having a baby!"  The whisk me into a delivery room and I am begging for an epidural.  They tell me I have to get the gown on and in bed first before they can give me anything.  I have never stripped so quickly before (ask Matt) and jumped into bed.  They want to check me first (check what? The baby is still there!).  Turns out I was 9 cm and was not able to get the epidural. WTF?!?!?!  So Ruth was off trying to get the doctor and another nurse (I swear it was her first night) was trying to draw my blood and give me "something to take the edge off."  Well, I don't know if any of you have tried to give blood while you were in labor but it's near impossible to remain still so they can get a vein.  I am feeling SO hot and tell this to the new nurse who runs off to find a fan.  WHAT?!?!  She comes back with a fan but can't seem to find a place to plug it in or turn it on or whatever the hell she was doing.  I told her I had to push.  "Oh no you don't dear. Just relax." No bitch, I have to push.  Ruth comes back in and I tell her I have to push, she checks and says, "oh yeah, you do, ok, hear we go."  The doctor literally walked in, said, "Hi, I'm Dr. Hamm....it's a girl!" 2 pushes and 20 mins after entering the hospital (for the 2nd time that night), Jenna was born. Holy cow, what a whirlwind.  We didn't even have our camera because we left the bag in the car, thinking Matt could get me settled and go back and get it.  Not so much but I wouldn't change a thing.  5 mins after she was born I called my parents and they were on the road within an hour.  Their plan was to get the call I was in labor and get in the car and be in GA just in time for her to be born, since most first time mothers have 10-24 hours of labor.  Once again folks, I am not so much by the book and apparently, neither is Jenna.

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